Don’t grieve God. Don’t break his heart. His Holy Spirit, moving and breathing in you, is the most intimate part of your life, making you fit for himself. Don’t take such a gift for granted. (Eph 4:30)
It was during the early days of my marriage that my wife and I had a huge row. I was still fuming by 10pm and foolishly decided to walk out and go back home to my mother’s house.
The darkness hid my cowardly skulking, and the cold sleeting Northern rain my tears.
I could feel the Holy Spirit trying to speak to me, but I didn’t want to listen … then after about 10 minutes, I ‘heard’ running footsteps behind me. As they caught up, I felt a hand gently searching for mine. I was still angry, and shaking the hand away, I turned and snapped, “GET AWAY FROM ME!”
I stood shaking under a dimly lit lamppost, and other than the stinging rain, there was no one there...!
I remember turning my head towards the darkness as ‘something’ in me told me that I'd just pushed away the Lord!
My mother was asleep when I got there, so I let myself in quietly and just lay on my old bed; I was feeling wretched. What had I just done? It was bad enough running away from my wife, but now I’d pushed GOD away too!
As I lay there in the dark, I realised that I had blown it BIG TIME and that nothing mattered anymore. No matter what excuses my mind could conjure up, all my pathetic arguments seemed to dissipate into the endless stream of contrite tears flowing hotly from my eyes into my ears!
It was many hours later that my heart stilled enough to hear His still, small voice calling me back – such Joy!
... I was still apologising to the Lord and my wife for weeks afterwards.
URGENT PRAYER REQUESTS
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