(Revelation 3:19 — “Those whom I love I reprove and discipline.”
Part 3: WE MAY LET GO... BUT GOD NEVER WILL — 4. The Gospel (Remembering God’s Grace and your new identity in Christ)
TESTIMONY: My mother owned and ran a newsagent's. She worked absurdly long hours and began the day when paper deliveries arrived at 4:00 a.m and would close around 19:00. Everything had to be checked and sorted so the paper boys and girls could be on their rounds by 6:00. Then, one awful day, she had a massive heart attack. There was no one to open the shop at that time, so I had to step in.
Seven days a week, I left my wife and our three little girls and slept at the shop, and woke at 3:30 a.m. to sort and lay out the papers and magazines. When the morning lady turned up at 7:00, I went home, grabbed a shower and a change of clothes, and went to my office. The strain of it nearly broke me!
One night, exhausted and fraying at the seams, I snapped at my poor wife. We argued. I slammed the door and stormed out into the rain, too stubborn and proud even to go back and grab my coat. The rain felt like punishment; my anger felt like armour.
As I walked in the dark, furious and numb, the Holy Spirit kept pressing me to go back, repent, and say sorry — this was before mobile phones — but I dug my heels in. Then I heard footsteps behind me. I turned and saw no one, but I knew it was Him. I felt a hand take mine — God’s hand — warm and patient. Instead of melting, I held onto my pride and pushed it away. “Get lost,” I told Him.
Something inside me went cold! I trudged on to the shop and lay there collapsed on the bed, tears running hot and filling my ears as I tried to justify my anger. I couldn’t sleep, and around midnight I finally (reluctantly) asked God for mercy, but felt nothing; His loving presence seemed gone.
Finally, I started to get serious. I begged and wept and repented again and again. Then, about 3:00 a.m. His voice, gentle, piercing, spoke: “Don’t ever reject me again. You really don’t want to try and live without Me, do you?”
In that moment, everything changed. His Presence returned like sunlight. I remembered God’s grace and the identity in Christ I’d been treating like common air. I saw how familiar love can be the easiest thing to take for granted — and how dangerous that is.
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Let’s pray, "Heavenly Father, even remembering this and writing this down fills me with shame. I am so sorry for the times I let familiarity breed contempt and treat you like I do. Thank You, Lord, for Your Amazing Grace in Jesus. " Amen!
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