The Maker of all human beings is recalling all units manufactured … !
The Maker of all human beings is recalling all units manufactured, regardless of make or year, due to a serious defect in the primary and central components of the heart. This is due to a malfunction in the original prototype units, code name Adam and Eve, resulting in the reproduction of the same defect in all subsequent units. This defect has been termed “Subsequential Internal Non-morality” or more commonly known as S.I.N. Some symptoms of this defect: 1. Loss of direction 2. Foul vocal emissions 3. Amnesia of origin 4. Lack of peace and joy 5. Selfish or violent behavior 6. Depression or confusion in the mental component 7. Fearfulness 8. Idolatry 9. Rebellion
The Manufacturer, who is neither liable nor at fault for this defect is providing factory authorized repair and service free of charge to correct this S.I.N. defect. The repair Technician, Jesus, has most generously offered to bear the entire burden of the staggering cost for these repairs. There is no additional fee required.
The number to call in all areas is P-R-A-Y-E-R. Once connected, please upload your S.I.N. through REPENTANCE procedure. Next, download ATONEMENT from the repair Technician, Jesus, into the heart component. No matter how big or small the S.I.N. defect is, Jesus will replace it with: 1. Love 2. Joy 3. Peace 4. Patience 5. Kindness 6. Goodness 7. Faithfulness 8. Gentleness 9. Self-control
Please see the operating manual, the B.I.B.L.E. (Basic Instruction Before Leaving Earth), for further details on the use of these repairs.
WARNING: Continuing to operate the human being unit without correction voids any guarantee or warranty. For free emergency service, call on Jesus.
DANGER: The human being units not responding to this recall action will have to be scrapped in the furnace. The S.I.N. defect will not be permitted to enter Heaven, so as to prevent contamination of that facility.
P.S. Please assist where possible by notifying others of this important recall notice!