“Remember those early days after you first saw the light…?” (Heb 10:32 MSG)
Memories flooded back to me after reading this, but you know what came back the strongest? It was the memories of the negative thoughts! “Can I go on with this …? Should I go on with this…? What will happen to ‘me‘ if I go on with this …?”
I couldn’t deny what had happened, what I’d witnessed and felt – but my mind was swimming with all the negative thoughts that screamed I didn’t ‘deserve’ this awesome grace, these blessings. That it was all a big mistake, and that I couldn’t really be part of this beautiful new union with GOD in Jesus!
But then the clouds parted and I saw light burst through the miasma of self-loathing and despair. This union was none of my own doing, the Light had come into my life. Jesus has chosen to be with me and he wanted to disperse all the toxic darkness, the negativity, the wrong attitudes and stupidity from my life!
The battle was in my mind! I realised that it was my choice - that He would never abuse me. I had free will, I just had to agree to his ministrations!
So … here I am again Lord Jesus, I set my heart to remember again those early days and I give you (again) all the stupid negative thoughts that assail me as I try and walk with you on this Earth.
Please open my heart and the hearts of all who read this and show us all our worth to you. How you will never cease to help, love and do good to us. How your Grace on us isn’t subject to a whim of fancy, but was fixed at the cross, where you died to bring us eternal Peace.
Lord, please speak to us all this day. Amen. ❤️